“The writer/poet knows that names confer magic. Or fail to confer magic.”
Joyce Carol Oates
= = =
I didn’t start using the name conveyed to me by marriage until five years later.
I wanted to move, I wanted to escape, I had to get out of the place my daughter died. I couldn’t be in that place where I had committed the ultimate, biggest failure of my life. Anything, anything to release me, even if that meant giving up my name so that we could get into a house, this house I still sit in twenty-six years later – the house that has become my only constant.
I was Julie Jordan. Sung to, admonished, not wanted by humanity. Birth control failure – I discovered at 13.
A name. I had a name.
Julie Ann Jordan. Claimed kin to Julie Ann Drews.
Quirky, earnest, optimistic.
Loved easily and often until looks mattered and influence mattered and money mattered.
I am distracted by a mourning dove and remember the hummingbird who paid a visit a moment ago.
My name. Magic.
It happened when I added Scott to Jordan.
I took Jordan out of the hope chest at the end of my bed. I fluffed it up and proclaimed “Julie Jordan Scott” (I worked for the county then, Susan Gill helped me. She never changed her name I don’t think she has yet, either or maybe who knows.)
Julie Jordan Scott.
My made up magical claimed I like it name.
Merges me with my children and my history. Never say Scott without Jordan please.
Reclaimed with twenty-eight seconds to go.
Remembering characters I’ve played. Grandma Betty, Jack’s Mom, Woman. Eunice, Mama, Present.
Julie Jordan Scott
is the founder and creator of 5For5BrainDump. She has been inspiring artistic rebirth since 1999.