12/9/2016 0 Comments
I smile when I think of: (Remembering Priceless moments of 2016)
I smile when I remember:
Samuel at homecoming. Waiting and waiting and recording and wondering why I wasn’t crying and realizing what I realized that I still don’t feel like talking about it.
No can’t publish that. Can’t publish disappointments or anything slightly to the left of ecstatic.
I thought I was over that need, that compulsion to sugar coat or layer after layer of sticky mod podge or whatever so that the grit wouldn’t be able to push through. I breathe into my shoulder, the right one this time, the blade sitting right in the place where I would most like to cradle my or any heating pad not “my” since I don’t own it own one.
I smile when I remember I wrote a poem today.
I smile when I remember the moment of recognition, “Are you that slightly-famous-to-me-poet”
only to recollect later yeah and more than that this is a famous kindred and I’m betting he dyes his hair. I would never guess he has a Mexican or any other Latina mother and I wonder if he knows who Emmy Bridgewater is since he appears to be THAT smart and more.
I wonder what it feels like to be that smart?
I remember the leaf, falling on my windshield, bright yellow, as I waited for just the right light to snap the photo. The light was just right and the photo was even more just right. And I smile remembering and a bucket of laughter rises in spite of me.
I remember New Years Day, Amanda’s feet getting cold and me getting pissed, “How can her feet be cold she’s from Boston and we are in California stand in awe of this huge tree for just the tiniest bit more, please!”
I remember recently laughing really hard with Julia but I don’t know why.
I remember smiling when talking to Fabian. And playing with SnapChat with Cameron’s students. And hearing the applause right now as I write.
Thank you, oh recorded hands, for making me smile.
Here’s to more of that in 2017. Recorded. Not recorded. Live, Belly laughs, small smiles, all of it.