This is a modified #5for5 for me. It is more guidance than true free flow. Please take it a such and as I've been doing this week, I will write to the prompt later. Today's livestream is beneath the second prompt image.
Today’s prompt: When I stand up for my wholeness:
(This has been an ongoing challenge for me – in relationship to standing up for myself for ANYTHING) and yes, so connected with our ongoing growth and integration).
I haven’t talked “integration” for a long time, I think because I received a critique that came at me unexpectedly – and then I turned the critique and the unexpected nature of it and turned it into a nugget of fear which morphed into a knot in my throat which stopped my fingers from moving and from there it moved outside of me and surrounded me and then it filled with water and pressed toward me until it was just me, treading water, no longer to even think about that word, integration, that experience of integration which works… ideally… like this.
In Julie World, Integration is knowing something on the soul level and slowly (or instantly) being able to communicate it to others in a way that isn’t foreign at all. It is coming into your wholeness, without separation of this from that and the other, over there in the corner and oh way on the other side is your inner…. (artist, scientist, anything other-than-acceptable-to-those-who-love-you) self.
Your body knows it – your knees and elbows and armpits and spleen and lungs know it (whatever “it” is) because you’ve been becoming more and more in harmony – in alignment – in deepening understanding so let’s think of an example.
I use integration with grief.
People (in my eyes inaccurately) talk about “closure” and “getting over” grief. In my experience, I don’t “get over” grief, I integrate the loss into my every day life.
My daughter Marlena died.
I will never forget her. She will always be my daughter. I can’t remember, though, when it stopped being important to say I had four children. I don’t know when I became comfortable with saying “I have three children.”
I still tell people I have four brothers, when asked. “I have four brothers, one has died.”
Marlena’s death has been integrated more deeply than John’s.
I think it was Wednesday when I said to Christine, out of the blue, “You know what? I can really write.”
She said something like, “You didn’t know this?”
To which I responded something like, “Well, I knew it on some level but I had forgotten and then I read something I wrote and I thought, ‘damn, I can really write. Really, I can!”
Integration involved conscious choice (choosing stress and/or peace). It includes a solid foundation of comfort and intimacy. Integration is quicker if we have a support system. If we have a map and several possibly paths to take… we have support. We know where to find answers if we don’t know already. We are confidence we will find or create or learn the way.
Integration invokes the deep dive. It calls upon us to be purposeful in a different way – an effortless blend of being and doing. I am reminded of walking, slightly stylistically, intentional. Feeling each step rise up from your core and slink from your hip to your thigh to your knee, calve and toes. Sole to soul to yes yes yes!
Writing Prompt: When I stand up for my wholeness:
And for further integration into wholeness, try this prompt:
Today, I recognize it is time to say yes to _____ because____ so I will….
Julie Jordan Scott
is the founder and creator of 5For5BrainDump. She has been inspiring artistic rebirth since 1999.