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It would be so easy to beat myself up.
Goodness knows I have enough practice.
Once again I am less than a week to go before our July #5for5BrainDump is starting and once again I haven’t given it, the process and the people waiting for it, the due justice it deserves. I can’t explain it. I don’t want to say laziness though the other obvious option is flat out fear which I don’t like to state because that’s just too easy a fall back.
I take another sip of coffee and look out the window instead, wish my kid would apply for some job somewhere and make some money. I always did when I was a kid, I didn’t need nudging and cajoling. It’s a different world now and I need to focus on #5for5BrainDump in these five minutes, not veer off course as is my usual norm.
I am ready for the unusual norm.
The world is ready for its unusual norm, aren’t we?
I cover my hands with my face.
I look at an image from a children’s book I cut out to make art with a while back.
The girls are upset and turn their backs on each other and are in the beginnings of walking away. They are still close enough to turn and hug each other. “There is still time!” I want to shake them.
“Don’t let too much time go by!”
And I look in the mirror at my wrinkles and lack of caring about how my ahir looks and I have a broadcast in 27 minutes.
“Be authentic” my ass. When I don’t take a minute to care about how I look – when I don’t take a minute to care if the world knows about #5for5BrainDump and how powerful it is, I invite myself to continue the spiral of self-destructive “see? You really do suck” residue.
So beloveds reading this – we are starting again this Monday at 11 am with a session on Periscope. I may add other sessions using other platforms, but for now this is the one.
I got this blog post written. It took about six minutes. I don’t feel better yet but I know I will. Eventually.
Julie Jordan Scott
is the founder and creator of 5For5BrainDump. She has been inspiring artistic rebirth since 1999.